Tantum Tuesday..

So I got my wish and someone special :) made me a graphic :)

I need more folks..

Lots more Tuesdays coming up :)

Now for my Tuesday Tantrum before it is not Tuesday anymore....

• My 3 day a week boss can really be a pain in my rear....she really really can...I did things today like order her contacts....and make her daughter an eye appointment....and scheduled her Lexus for routine maintenance....I am worth WAY more than that...and am paid WAY too much to be her personal assistant..I am SO overqualified for that...
• My 17 yr old daughter waited until 11:00 pm to tell me that she has billiards practice tomorrow night for a club that we discussed her joining but I was not aware that a decision was made just yet..(since she does not know how to play pool at all) not only did she wait until the last minute? Her practice is in Richardson which is 30 minutes away...She has no drivers license...it is at 6:30 pm which means I would not only be driving her there in rush hour traffic? It is too far away for me to come back home and then go back to pick her up...So I would have to amuse myself for 90 minutes in my car....uhh I think not...especially since the police force in Richardson (as in most places) frown on you drinking from an open box of wine while reading a smutty novel in pool hall parking lots...
  
• My 12 yr old has decided that it is not necessary to do any homework...at all...ever....
• My only purpose in life - to wait on people hand and foot - do things for everyone...so they in turn can be pissy with me...and talk back to me...and not do anything I ask without being bitchy and sarcastic about it...
• If either one of my children again prefaces a sentence with "What had happened was..." or "I is" - I am goign to send them to live with my mother...that'll learn 'em...
  

mondays suck...

Yeah so I got up this morning...

And it just all went downhill from there.....

My children are a pain in the tukas....

Please tell me why it is that I am expected to WAIT anywhere from 15 - 30 minutes EVERY single time I have to pick them up from somewhere...

But if I make THEM wait more than 3 minutes? The sky is falling....

Every day i pick up Austin from football practice...because of the distance between us and the length of the carpool lane...i can either

A. wait for him patiently
B. wait for him impatiently (which is usually what i do)
C. honk my horn thereby causing all 423 football players, band members, drill team and teachers to turn and try to see who is obnoxiously honking their horn...
D. yell out the window "Austin get your ass in this car" like some white trash whiskey drinking tube top/micro mini skirt with hooker heels wearing momma that I am NOT...

guess what i do...

yes you guessed it...i wait impatiently....and i fume...because he should be watching for me...waiting for me...no instead he is hanging out like I have NOTHING better to do...

Kadie is EXACTLY the same way....only she walks slower...which is even more irritating because she would be SO much more humiliated if I chose option C or D at her school....

this morning I got to work and was about to put my makeup on in the car in the parking lot (because thats what i do when the kids have to WAIT for ME)...and i opened my makeup box...

Let's see....

Every single eyeliner is broken...
My blush is gone....
My bronzer is missing....
ALL of my ALOETTE makeup brushes? MISSING....
My favorite lipstick? cap missing and broken with little bits and pieces stuck in it...

All I have left is....

a bronzer that is too dark for me...
a lipstick I dont like....
A liquid base that I HATE to use because it is messy in the car with no wipes to clean my hands....
a MASCARA that she HATES...and so graciously left for me in MY makeup box...

toe separators JUST in case I decide to give myself a pedicure at work...

and some purple nail polish that is JUST hideous....

Let's not even get into the proper way to load/unload the dishwasher and the proper way to put things away in the cabinets...

Where's my whiskey? Isnt it 5 oclock somewhere? I probably should crack open that bottle of wine cooling in the fridge before I look at grades this evening....

For Trade

For Trade: One 17 year old who knows everything.

Except:

How to cook.

How to clean.

How to manage money.

How to wipe up spilled water.

How to drive.

How to write a check.

How to answer a phone.

How to do math.

How to be polite.

How gas is paid for.

How cell phone bills are paid.

How to work the can opener.

How to sweep, dust or vacuum.

How to make a bed.

How to do laundry.

How dictatorships work.

How to stop talking.

How to get a job.

How important it is to finish high school.

How the world actually works.

She can text. And she can argue. What else does she *possibly* need to know in life??

I’d like to trade her in. For a puppy.

so the party is almost over....

For ME? it is over... :)

It is 1 am....

The boys just left....

The girls are all spending the night....all 6 of them....

I am wiped out....

I put up all the food....

There was a cake fight and a water fight....and my husband tried to make courtney eat a bug....

It is goign to be a nightmare waking them up in the morning for church....

My husband is at the 24 hour walmart buying vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup right now....for the girls....

I am SO GOING TO BED....

Pictures tomorrow.....

Kadie Dawn and her uncle Rory...a couple years ago....

Kadie Dawn was due on my brother's birthday....

Sadly? She was late...and that tradition has continued over the last 17 years :)

She tries to blame it on me...but it aint always momma's fault....

I gave birth to Kadie when I was 23 years old....

I was young...Wayne was younger...but man oh man...we thought we knew it all....

We didnt have a flippin clue...

Sure we could make bottles, chnage diapers, bathe the kid...dress the kid all cute with bows in her hair.....but that was about it....

We had no idea what the next 17 years had in store for us...

you know the song by Chris Cagle called Walmart Parking Lot?

That is literally and figuratively our song...lol...We met at walmart...that is where we both worked...me at the service desk....him in sporting goods...

And when we got off work in the evenings? We all hung out in the Walmart parking lot sometimes till daylight.... :)


The whole 9 months I was pregnant with Kadie were filled with a little bit of drama....us moving into our first apartment together.....family fusses...(his mother hated me) @@...most of the rest of his family loved me....some had their issues but for the most part it was okay....

Wayne was a favored grandchild on his mothers side @@....like ridiculously favored...lol...of course they raised him the first 7 years of his life so that is completely understandable...Big Nanny and Granpa loved me too.. :) And i so loved them.....

Half of the time I was pregnant with Kadie we had issues with his family...the other half we had issues with my mother :)

On Saturday before I went into labor....my mom took me to a local college to "walk the track till I popped out a baby" ....lol...We went around that sucker 9 times....I was miserable...

Saturday afternoon....some of waynes family on his dads side came in to town to spend the night....The next morning (Sunday) we all headed out for a local flea market...I say local but it is a good 45 minutes away.....We were there all day...I was miserable...and hot and sweaty and in pain ....my back hurt...my head hurt...my feet hurt....you name it? it hurt....

Monday morning at 4:48 am? I felt contractions....I sent wayne on to work...thinking I had HOURS....after all they do say the 1st baby takes the longest....

Well I was right....Kadie was late and she really didnt want to show up at all :)

On Tuesday October 8? at 6:14 pm....yes I said PM.....36 hours later? I gave birth to Kadie Dawn....

I had her completely natural....(which I was not stupid enough to do with Austin) :) She was so tiny that I didnt have stitches....no episiotomy...nothing...she just slid right out.....once she was ready....lol...

Kadie and her daddy....I just love this picture.....

I cant believe she is 17 years old today...i cannot believe I have a 17 yr old...When my mother was 40? She was a grandmother...Holy cow I would die.....

Today is Tuesday....

Today is Tuesday...

Tomorrow is Wednesday....

The next day is Thursday.....

and so on and so on and so on.....

KD's bday is tomorrow...

she will be 17....

Where the hell does the time go....



She used to be the sweetest child...lol....now? she has her moments but mostly she is bitchy...lol...but she comes by it honestly...I have been known to be a little snappy catty bitchy at times..... @@....



I went and ordered her cake today....

1/2 sheet....white ganache.....and this pattern on top.....

Sort of...We had to make some adjustments...but it will be pretty.... This is what we did the invitations in....with parchment paper on top....they turned out cute cute cute...


Now i have to figure out food and drinks and logistics and music...and how not to piss off the neighbors with 25 - 30 teenagers in my backyard on a Saturday night :)

I have to buy party favor thingys....dont know what yet...

I have to buy plates and napkins and balloons and streamers....

I ahve to decide on food....

I am the Queen of last minute parties...

They wear me out ....the kids jsut wear me out...

What the hell am I going to do when they are gone?