Yeah so I got up this morning...
And it just all went downhill from there.....
My children are a pain in the tukas....
Please tell me why it is that I am expected to WAIT anywhere from 15 - 30 minutes EVERY single time I have to pick them up from somewhere...
But if I make THEM wait more than 3 minutes? The sky is falling....
Every day i pick up Austin from football practice...because of the distance between us and the length of the carpool lane...i can either
A. wait for him patiently
B. wait for him impatiently (which is usually what i do)
C. honk my horn thereby causing all 423 football players, band members, drill team and teachers to turn and try to see who is obnoxiously honking their horn...
D. yell out the window "Austin get your ass in this car" like some white trash whiskey drinking tube top/micro mini skirt with hooker heels wearing momma that I am NOT...
guess what i do...
yes you guessed it...i wait impatiently....and i fume...because he should be watching for me...waiting for me...no instead he is hanging out like I have NOTHING better to do...
Kadie is EXACTLY the same way....only she walks slower...which is even more irritating because she would be SO much more humiliated if I chose option C or D at her school....
this morning I got to work and was about to put my makeup on in the car in the parking lot (because thats what i do when the kids have to WAIT for ME)...and i opened my makeup box...
Let's see....
Every single eyeliner is broken...
My blush is gone....
My bronzer is missing....
ALL of my ALOETTE makeup brushes? MISSING....
My favorite lipstick? cap missing and broken with little bits and pieces stuck in it...
All I have left is....
a bronzer that is too dark for me...
a lipstick I dont like....
A liquid base that I HATE to use because it is messy in the car with no wipes to clean my hands....
a MASCARA that she HATES...and so graciously left for me in MY makeup box...
toe separators JUST in case I decide to give myself a pedicure at work...
and some purple nail polish that is JUST hideous....
Let's not even get into the proper way to load/unload the dishwasher and the proper way to put things away in the cabinets...
Where's my whiskey? Isnt it 5 oclock somewhere? I probably should crack open that bottle of wine cooling in the fridge before I look at grades this evening....
Let's not even get into the proper way to load/unload the dishwasher and the proper way to put things away in the cabinets...
Where's my whiskey? Isnt it 5 oclock somewhere? I probably should crack open that bottle of wine cooling in the fridge before I look at grades this evening....
I'm with ya on the waiting around. My DD wants to be at her lessons on time but she never shows the same curtousy when it's time to pick her up.
ReplyDeleteHowdy! Thanks for following me, though I don't know how you do it! You have a big blog roll, Gal!
ReplyDeleteI tried to comment to your Journal Jar but you don't have a post up there yet.
So, I guess this is the place though? Since you have a lot of happy readers and your a hoot to visit!
Happy Monday!
Oh, and if there's any of that wine left? I'll have a glass with ya!
ReplyDeleteWow sounds like you lived at my house. I remember those days and then I'm glad they're gone. Don't miss that part. I would have been happy to skip the teen years myself. I got a bottle of tequila in the freezer calling my name, but I haven't hit it yet. My kids come in the house and check the freezer to make sure the bottle is still there LOL. What they don't seem to understand is I know where the store is to replace it. ;-)
ReplyDeleteTake care, Chrissie
First of all..option D cracked me the hell up..and I love your first graphic...ROFLMAO!
ReplyDeleteI don't see how you do it Kelly...I know I made my mama fuming mad several times myself when I was younger...poor mamas!
I'll have a drink with ya *cheers*
Hugs
Terri
LMAO Oh i love you u crack me up, now see im always fussing with my mom because she is always in MY make up!
ReplyDeletei would be furious about that makeup!!! and I am sure you were!!!
ReplyDeleteyeah, get the wine out first
I'm sorry.. had to chuckle just a bit.. I do not miss those days at all. Tho I still wait on him... go figure... guess it's cuz we are the adults and they are the kids.. no matter how old they are
ReplyDeleteGGRRRRRR
Man you need some valium. I always take a book or a magazine when I have to wait for Gabby...helps pass the time and if nothing else I lean my seat back, close my eyes and catch a few minutes of almost sleep. Just breathe...
ReplyDeleteThat was happening to me when my kids were in school. They can tell you, they learned QUICKLY if they wanted a ride with mom, don't make her wait long or she LEAVES and will run a few errands and make THEM WAIT. After a few times of making them wait and wait and wait and yes wait some more they learned.
ReplyDeleteMonica
Gesh, I WAS a mean mom!
ReplyDeleteMonica
yeah...they ALL move slower when they know we are there...but watch out if we are late...OMG..
ReplyDeleteHope you enjoyed the wine :)
Have you ever tried just driving off? Maybe they'll get the message? Love ya
ReplyDelete~~Kath~~
LOL you are so funny. It gets better after they get a job and buy their own makeup...they want the expensive stuff and wouldn't be caught dead wearing cover girl or maybelline! It's flip-flopped for me now that Miss Priss is 21..."Mom! have you seen my MAC foundation applicator??!!" What the heck? Use your fingers!! Hahaha.
ReplyDeleteI'm impatient too. I'd probably be ahonkin' the horn. LOL
ReplyDeleteLaughing AND very much relating to your entry. lol
ReplyDeleteLMAO.. omg, you just described me. hehe. I know exactly what you are talking about.
ReplyDeleteNo... seriously... go for the option with the tube top and hooker heels or some version of it. I would always dress in my pj pants and the most ridiculous big fuzzy slippers I could find and if my kids didn't come out at the appointed time, I would go looking for them dressed like that. My boys got really good at being ready and waiting for me!
ReplyDeleteBut if any of my boys start robbing my makeup bag, I've got bigger problems than a lack of respect for personal property. I'm jes' sayin'....
*hugs* hang in there,mama!
heather
Whoa momma! You had quite a lot to say.
ReplyDeleteI think most mothers can so relate! At least I have a son so I won't have to worry about the makeup thing! :)
XX
I don't know whose blog I popped over from, but dahling you are funny! Luv it! De ;)
ReplyDelete